Pressure, Numbers, and Goals

I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE BIGGEST LOSER. REALLY, GUYS.

Friday, I joined my work's Biggest Loser competition. It really did seem like a good idea at the time. Since I have to put a dollar in the pot for every pound that I gain each week, I figured it would be a good way to keep me from gaining weight, and maybe a nice motivator for losing the last few pounds I have lingering around my hips and thighs. However, after the bad run yesterday, I realized that joining this competition is one of the stupidest things I have ever done. Why?

More pressure. More goals. More numbers.

Currently, I am so overwhelmed by, and honestly, so freakin' done with pressure, goals, and numbers. How I could have let my competitive nature throw me into a competition which, by the way, I can't even win, is beyond me. This is a new low.

This competition is measured by percentage of weight lost and is going until May 27. Realistically, I can only lose about 10% of my current body weight. It might be a little more now since I binged on a ton of heavy carbs and chugged about 44 oz of liquid before I weighed in Friday afternoon (I weighed five pounds more than I did a couple hours before). I am competing with others who have a significant amount of weight to lose so I shouldn't be anywhere near the money on this one. I may not have as many actual pounds to lose, but since they are my last, they are going to be the worst pounds to shed. Weigh-ins are on Fridays, and I'll be sure to check in and let you know how I'm doing. I'm not too worried about this Friday's weigh-in because I probably won't have a starch and liquid binge beforehand.

I really admire my coworkers for doing this competition, though. I have seen many of them start on diets and workout regimes only to give them up soon after and get nowhere on their journey to a more healthy lifestyle. I hope to help. So far I have lost 93 pounds since April 2009, and I know that it never gets easy. Even now that I know a little better what I'm doing, it's still a struggle I have to approach one day at a time. I'll let you know how they're doing, too. 

AND THEN I WENT SHOPPING

Stopped at Oxmoor Mall today to have a little Dick's Sporting Goods binge. Even though I just bought a new pair of running shoes, I almost bought another pair today. They are the black and green ones pictured here (my new shoes are the black and pink ones):

I dig Sauconys. My feet felt delicious in them. Very light, very comfortable. However, I thought through things logically and remembered that I need more stability in my shoes or else my ankles will be ready to fall off pretty quickly. And I like my ankles. They deserve the best I can give them. So I put back the shoes. But I did buy a new Gatorade water bottle! That's almost as fulfilling!

DEATH OF ANOTHER PAIR OF HEADPHONES

These are second ones to go this week. I don't even know what happened, either! I was just doing a 90-minute easy elliptical workout. Indoors. No rain, I promise! They have a really weird short in them and I can't hear the voice track of songs. All I can hear is an echoed version of a song's instrumentals. In a way, it kind of cool, but not for long and not when I have to run in the morning. My dilemma is that I did order Yurbuds on Friday morning per my old buddy Dan's suggestion. They should be arriving tomorrow, but I have a run early in the morning. I doubt UPS will deliver them before 8 AM, no matter how hard I hope. I have no idea what I'm going to do about this. I guess I'll try a silent run?

I suppose I could think about all the pressure, goals, and numbers. This is sure to be the most relaxing five miles of my life.

But if Forrest Gump can do it for years, it can't be that bad, right? Right.